Monday, January 19, 2009

Mom was right, don't get any tattoos

Because while you're in the Navy, and busy masking your femininity with manly naval tattoos, you'll eventually decide you're tired of your boy parts and start working toward getting girl parts instead.
Sadly I didn't have a charged battery to speak of to use in my camera, thanks to the kids and their gameboy usage. Equally sad is that my cellphone battery was dead, thanks to the EXTENSIVE amount of phone use. Then dh called me before I could get the picture, thereby completely depleting the battery. So, for a change, Crazy Lady has no photographic evidence of such cross-gendering seen at work today. I'll do my best to describe the scene.

Home improvement store, near the plumbing aisle. Two ladies talking to someone. That someone would be a human of male origin, seemingly in the process of transition to female end result. For the sake of humanity, we'll call the changling "Pat". Pat was wearing a light turquoise dress, carrying a dark brown handbag, and wearing ... I forget what shoes, probably Crocs, since that's what the whole world seems to wear these days. I honestly didn't LOOK at the shoes, I was busy looking at the tattoos on the right arm. An anchor, most notably caught my eye. The others were aged, blurred, and I couldn't make them out really. Old tattoos turned green on a weathered to a turquoise dress. THAT is what caught my attention first and foremost. My first sight was the arm and fabric. My first thought was wow, that's a ballsy broad for getting such tattoos back then. (This thought is associated with what I know of Post WW2 culture through at least Woodstock, in which women generally were coiffed and having milky skin with nary a blemish. Hell would freeze over before a woman with her senses intact got a tattoo on any part, much less an exposed one. And even during the hellraiser times of women's liberation, sex drugs and rock & roll, women didn't generally get a large ANCHOR permanantly inked on an arm.)
Then I looked up. Woops, ballsy indeed. I then realized I was looking at a person that was probably in their 50s or older, overweight with a large midsection and the associated thick neck, masculine facial features and mammary formations. Pat's voice was losing its gruff edge, but still noticably not femininely soft either. I tried not to eavesdrop, because I have a tendency to channel part of Gladys Kravits sometimes. From reading the body language, and hints of intonation, I think the other two women were simply intrigued by Pat's state of being and Pat was indulging them a public conversation about it. The other two women seemed very kind and non-judgmental toward Pat, and I probably would have entertained a conversation with this person, had I the time to spare.
But in all this, the one moral of the story I come away with (besides that one about making assumptions), is that when you get a tattoo, you reallllllly need to consider any possibilities that could arise later, like say a gender change, before committing to a large rendering on an exposed part of your body.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It's a sad state of our economic times...

When not only can a man (spotted at the local post office a few days before Christmas) not afford a passable toupee, but also can't afford to wear pants and feels that it is perfectly OK to appear in public in his underarmor. This guy goes to the top of the worst dressed list of all time. The only thing that would have sealed the deal of putting him in the number one spot? If he had been wearing socks with those flip-flops.

The state of the economy has hit hard in all areas of the world, but it hasn't stopped some people from still enjoying their favorite pastimes. Like say...going out on your fishing boat to make sure you can provide a meal for your family. Sadly, when you are so broke you can't afford the tow trailer for the boat, you come up with alternatives to "Git-er-done."

'Nuff said. Stay tuned for your next installment...CLSW is always on the lookout for the idiosyncrasies that make up our crazy world. Don't forget to send in any of your own quirky, funny, strange, or just downright wrong photos so we can pick them apart piece by piece in the snarkiest manner a true smart-ass can accomplish!

*Disclaimer: If a posted photo is of you and/or your property and you wish to have it removed from this blog to avoid future potential ridicule, please contact the blog authors immediately. The blog authors reserve the right to photograph and document any and all acts of WTF in the interest of entertainment and humor at your expense.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Drawers to the Floor

I think this was the one that started the whole riot. I did crop the bottom to remove the license plate information...because my synapses aren't firing correctly for my brain to digest the photo editing knowledge and put it to use.

I will pause a minute and let you digest the content.

Seriously. It probably is precisely what you think it is.

I'll tell you the back story on this one. I was about to go into the one store I service that has no signal inside whatsoever. However, on the drive there, I was talking to my boss on the phone. So I sat in my mom-bus while we finished our conversation. I saw this couple loading their purchases in the back of their SUV. They futzed with this roll of vinyl sheet flooring, trying to get it in the truck. The liftgate all the way up was not working well, the flooring would have fallen out of the vehicle on the drive home. So lucky for them, this vehicle is equipped with a two part liftgate. They opened the glass and rested the flooring on the back of the seat. Since it hung out the window, they needed some sort of "safety" warning for morons drivers behind them. I saw the woman go to the back driver side door and dig around in what I assume is a bag, laundry basket, or floorboard and come back with something red. The guy stretched it over the end of the flooring, they got in the SUV and left. Thankfully my camera was between the seats so I could move fast and get this shot. The boss didn't believe me, and told me to send it to her. So I did, and she then sent it to everyone in her address book that has a sense of humor.

Welcome to the Crazy Lady

We decided that since we keep finding crazy stuff while we're out and about, that we'd start a blog to showcase it. Because A) We're weird like that, and B) we travel around with our cameras, since C) Crazy stuff just makes itself known to us on a regular basis.

We welcome your contributions that you find yourself. If you got the picture from someone else, you will need to tell us where you got it, so we attribute accurate credit to the owner of the picture. There are these things called Copyright Laws that we have to mind so we don't have lawyers giving us a ration of crap for infringing on someone's intellectual space.

You can use the profile email link, or send it to crazyladysawwhat(at)gmail(dot)com