Crazy Lady Saw What?

Just in time for March Madness

2012-01-14T12:12:00.000-08:00

My internet friend Kim posted this on Crackbook. I couldn't resist sharing it here:

Busted!

2011-06-06T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's quiet at my house and for a change I came across something blog-worthy and jumped right on posting it. I have a folder full of blog fodder pictures that need to be posted. Maybe some of that can happen when Devildog is in school and the kids are sleeping in on a morning he has classes.
In any case, this was one my pal Kimberly shared on Crackbook, after one of her friends saw this in the hotel parking lot on their travels, and I just felt compelled to share. Well, there's that, and the last entry for this blog was the end of March. Yes, blogdeath. We haz it here.
In any case, on with the photo.

Like I've told my kids over and over and over again, "If you're going to be stupid, at least be smart about being stupid." Apparently this guy didn't have a mom who sang that refrain enough for him:

If it's too pixelated to read, the note says "Dear Dave, Tell your G.F. ur wife & kids say hi. PS I cleaned out bank. Your broke. <3 Nikki & kids"

Horsing around the Drive Thru

2011-03-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

A friend from church who moved up to Georgia just posted on Facebook this interesting photo with the caption
"And THIS is how you do drive thru at McDonald's on a saturday night in Georgia." following it up with "He was not alone...there were others with him on more horses."

Photo courtesy Angie D. in GA., who was out with her husband and they laughed so hard they had to pull over to take the picture.

Unlikely pairings

2011-01-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

Whodathunk these two go so well together?

This from Danika T.

New meaning to McPieces Parts

2010-10-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

A message board buddy shared this on Crackbook, and I couldn't help but share it here.

The caption reads "McDonalds In Hartsville , South Carolina. A friend of mine posted this. I just had to repost it! Talk about a BAD spelling error!!! :)"

Thanks Tim Lavinder for permission to post this after swiping it from your page.

How many words is this worth?

2010-08-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

There is a blogger/knitter that I stalk and she posted this to her Facebook page, saying

"The Kodiak Police Department just moved to a brand new building. Landscapers were hired to plant grass, and they had a little fun with it. Photo taken by my mom."

Industrious, no?

2010-07-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

My pal Kim saw this and posted it on Facebook, tagging me for the blog. I love when people send me this stuff. I haven't been as fast on the shutter lately and have missed lots of funny things on the road.

Kim said "This guy is pulling a lawn mower with the grass catcher in his milk crate. ... FYI the only thing in this area of town is where the interstates cross and a bunch of resturants, oh and a Walmart. So, I figure he was making a Run for the Boarder (Taco Bell) and then to Walmart. I've seen many milk crates filled with beer"
Quite honestly, I'm just a tad surprised there isn't a passenger on the lawnmower, hitching a ride with him to the store.
What? there's room for one.

Brought & Paid For

2010-07-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

well, there are few words needed here.
Grammar = FAIL
(click the picture for a closer look)

Foot Funk

2010-06-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

The only reason I can come up with is her feet smell really bad from sitting up at the soccer field so many hours in this blazing Florida heat.

This from Kristina:

Are you flippin' serious!? Yep, this "person" was driving down US1 with her foot hanging out the driver side window. To my motorcycle people: please be careful, there are asswipes everywhere.

Hell froze in New Orleans

2010-01-28T20:30:00.001-08:00

I was trolling Crackbook and one of my board buddies posted this picture.

(it says "They must be wearing coats in hell. GO SAINTS!")

redneck payload

2010-01-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

A friend who works at Home Depot sent this to my husband. The caption in the message was simply "classic redneck leaving home depot!"
This happens A LOT there apparently. The vehicle:a small pickup (ie: Ranger, S-10, Isuzu Hombre) with a small bed.
They just drove past a much larger Home Depot rental vehicle.
In the bed of the truck?
That is two PALLETS of concrete mix. Those are bags of powdered material you mix with water to make concrete. One bag weighs between 30 and 60 pounds, depending on the brand etc. I estimate each pallet has about 50 bags on it. Just the low estimate would be well over 1500 pounds each pallet. There's at least 3,000 pounds on the truck. Even a regular full size truck like a Silverado or F150 would struggle with this weight.

But that's a redneck for you.
"Nawp we'll git it in one trip. I ain't rentin' thayr truck when I got mah own. And I ain't wastin' time and gas makin' two trips neither."
They're very obviously bad at math and science.

Think outside the name

2009-12-30T23:52:00.001-08:00

The crackbook junkie that I am, I was online while I waited for the baby to go back to sleep. I actually caught my aunt online. I was chatting with her and she said she had a funny story to tell me. She told me and I insisted she get a copy of the receipt to me. Through the magic of facebook, she obliged, and I am able to entertain you here with this case of WTF-ness.

In her words: "went to tacobell tonite for dinner and you give your first name for meal pick up when you order inside,right, well i gave my name as rita cause that is my name,right, it is spelled rita, so this guy calls my name i pick up the order and glance down at the receipt and see that he has written RHEE-duh"

In case you need a translation from my overworked aunt's extensive run-on sentence: She went to Taco Bell and when you place your order inside they ask your first name for pickup. (Like they do at Starbucks). She gets her food, looks down at her receipt and sees that he's grossly misspelled her name. He in fact, he OVER spelled it. She didn't spell her name for this guy, so he spelled it phonetically. I'm sure my Grandmere was just pleased as punch to learn her daughter's name was spelled wrong all this time. What's even funnier is my cousin works for another Taco Bell store a few miles away from this one.

Poor taco guy. He worked overtime on that one and didn't get any extra pay for it.

fun party tricks

2009-12-26T21:22:00.000-08:00

I only gave this post the title I did because the individual I encountered at dinner was such a good sport and had a great sense of humor about things. She was out with friends and just having a good time. Then I entered the picture. I was futzing with my camera trying to get a picture of my FIL and my uncooperative son. I heard my oldest son say "oh grossss" and the gaggle of people at the next table burst out laughing. One of them apologized saying "oops, I forgot there was a family eating behind me." Well little did he realize we are not the easily offended type of clan. He was taking a picture of this:

I asked the woman if I could post a picture on my blog and she was ok with it. It wasn't till I snapped the picture that I realized wait...she's lacking a digit, not double jointed like my son thought. I asked if it was a birth defect, and she said it was, and it's called ectrodactyly. She said it was genetic and other relatives had it as well. I used google and wasn't thrilled with the results, but then again, I'm hardly thrilled with anything I get from there of late.
I left her the blog address in case she wanted to see what I said. First off, I was made fun of as a kid, so I'm sure she was too, hence her apparent (and I could be totally wrong here) thick skin. Second, I was interested in any other information or stories about her unusual gift that she might be willing to share. Yes, we're usually snarky and poke fun at things. And any time we do that it's well deserved. But this was just so cool looking that I wanted to share it with our readers.

Nah, that's not a midlife crisis or anything

2009-09-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

This is another contribution from Yankee Belle

Hey! I was at the Sugarland concert in Tampa last night and this woman and her friend sat in front of me. We saw lots of twinkie little girls in quite similar outfits. But the funny thing about this woman? She was in her late 40's and looked like she'd been rode hard and put up wet. You could just tell by her outfit, attitude, and addiction to text messaging on her phone that she had raided her teenage daughter's closet for this girl's night out. She texted on that little phone through the whole concert. The best part? She eventually spilled a full glass of beer on herself. :-) There were all kinds of Florida redneck wtf-ness all over last night, but this woman was by far my favorite.

Kristin

I've heard of a pet rock but...

2009-09-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

Driving down the road between service calls I took a route I don't always travel. It goes past a high school, is near a couple college campuses, the EMT/Fire Dept training facility - and all within sneezing distance from each other. I saw this guy walking down the street and didn't figure him to be mentally unstable, but still....you just do not see this every day around here. I had to turn around and go back so I could take these pictures.

C'mon, you can't tell me this isn't just plain random WTFness.

This guy is walking down the street with a chain around his waist and pulling a tire behind him. This is a major thoroughfare in this area. The other pedestrian asked the guy if he was ok, but not without a "WTF??" look included. The van in the 2nd picture? The driver pulled over to ask if the guy needed help. The guy explained what he was doing, and the van pulled away. Then the guy took off sprinting down the road.

I don't know this guy's story, and I realize this was probably part of a physical training regimen since it's football season, and first responders need to stay in shape, and there are several running events slated for the coming months.

But at first glance, it does look like he's walking his pet tire does it not?

economical sentiments

2009-09-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

I was driving around doing my errands and my idiot light came on to tell me my mom-bus fuel tank was empty. Yea, I knew it was, but something about payday not arriving yet prevented me from refueling in a more timely fashion. I ended up stopping at a Gate station on my way somewhere else this evening and looked up to find this:

You may need to click on the picture to get a clearer view of it.

I'm very sorry that it's blurry and bad looking. My camera crapped out on me a few days ago with no hope of resurrection. Since it's blurry, I'll translate. Plus the "Regular" background is black, with black sharpie so it doesn't show up.
The new names read "Arm" "Leg" and "First Born". I was on the phone w/ a friend and had to hang up to take this picture to share with you.

Hiatus...unintended

2009-07-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

The two crazy ladies are running amok with important things. What you might ask is more important than entertaining you with snarky commentary about idiocy in public? Wellllll...Persnickety is in the middle of a heinous remodel that involves sublime stupidity all its own. Feisty is growing a human and avoiding the inclination to dismember of varying members of the family and a few friends or enemies or even total strangers.
So by all means visit either of their other blogs and click around on the blogrolls or old links to entertain yourselves till we get back to our programming.

What? It's summer, and you should expect reruns. Even the tv shows take a hiatus once in a while.

New meaning to "do it yourself"

2009-06-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

I just have no words. I will refer you back to this post though, for the mere fact that this kind of thing keep occurring. That, and Persnickety says it so well already.

And once again, I'll remind you of the disclaimer. Plus if you don't want it to be seen here, don't do it in public.

When the bough breaks

2009-06-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

My child-free-by-choice sister who thinks kids are sticky noisy and sticky sent me this picture of a baby being worn... saying "Yes... its a real baby. poor thing was wobbling" I don't know if she meant the baby was wobbling or the boy carrying the baby was, but either way, it can't be good. And I can only imagine that the boy was handed the baby in the carrier and strapped together while the carrier is sized for the parent.

A board short of a load

2009-05-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

It's another instance of what I call the "StepSister Syndrome". You know, like from Cinderella, where her stepsister says "I'll MAKE it fit!"

Today's submission arrived in my inbox from Sunny Yukon. You may need to click on the picture to really see what she's talking about here.
Sunny writes:
"Not a great shot, the sun was in my face, sorry. I'm also not on my favorite computer, so if the cropping needs to be redone, let me know.

Anyways, it's a guy driver, who purchased one board at the lumber yard, and stuck it crossways through his windows to take home. So glad I wasn't on the HIGHWAY lane next to him! He came back for a second board later... I should have asked what happened to the first one.

He drove really carefully through the gate... didn't want to get it caught there, yet he's not worried about the other lanes on the highway...

Cheers :)"

Cheers indeed Sunny. Cheers that he didn't hit your gates and give you more work to do ;)

For some reason I am envisioning a dog trying to get a bone in the house through the doggy door...except the bone is bigger than the door.

San Francisco Treats

2009-04-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

Yankee Belle sent this to me, and said

"Hey! My friend and I went into the Hard Rock for lunch in San Francisco a few weeks ago, and these guys were at the bar, wearing, as you can see, an assortment of hats. Very drunk at no later than 1 in the afternoon. :-) On top of it all? It was seriously a Tuesday. Not even the weekend."

I personally, love the crabby hat. For some reason (probably the googly eyes), it makes me think of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.......Does this mean Blooregard is at the table too?

What's with the dirty laundry?

2009-03-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd see another instance like this one ever again. You'll have to scroll down to the bottom of the post to see what I mean, but it's there.
You may not be able to see clearly what it is, but it's a washing machine atop the trunk of an early-90s model Honda Accord, being driven by an ecstatic woman who seemed to be happy to no longer have to schlep the laundry to the laundromat anymore.

Tight ain't always right.

2009-03-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

This latest post came screeching into my inbox by way of Meuse. This was of course after I got the giggly phone call from her trying to compose herself enough to tell me she was sending me the email of what she had just witnessed. I will now let her explain what she saw in her own words. (Minor editing for grammar, punctuation and spelling. Grrr. Don't make be break out the evil English teacher brandishing the wet noodle, people!)

I hope you get this, but lemme paint the vivid picture. She dumped herself outta
this car, she was wearing one extremely large bright yellow hoop earring in her
right ear and nothing in the left. She had a yellow necklace on, those orange
stretch pants, and a sheer black top. Her gut hung out so far it looked like she
was carrying octuplets. I think the shirt had splashes of pink and blue on it,
but not really sure what that was about, then she put on a camouflage sweat
jacket. The passenger was a black female with a mohawk. (She)looked like a mini Mr T. Gawd I wish you coulda been there to see that! Sorry the pic sucks, but my
camera ain't the highest of technology...I only wish I could have gotten the
shot when she bent over into the car and then got out with the biggest wedgie I
ever saw and proceeded to pull it out right there in the parking lot.

Just remember, if you get dressed in the dark recesses of your closet with out the consultation of a mirror before you leave the house, you are setting yourself up to be fodder for blogs and ridicule everywhere. Tight ain't always right, folks.

To quote of my favorite movies from all time...

"Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket"--Steel Magnolias

Jesus says "come as you are"

2009-03-22T15:39:00.001-07:00

At least that's what I've been told by several others of varying faiths. I don't doubt it, I just think it's funny when a church advertises it as well.
Thanks Yankee Belle, for this bout of hilarity. I don't think this was such a random sign as you indicated. I suspect the sign's creator was very specific indeed. Maybe Jesus doesn't like crackheads, but potheads are okay?

Vehicular sentiments

2009-03-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

Forget road rage. This speaks volumes.

I'd like to thank Devildog for taking my van to the car wash today. It made such a stoplight opportunity possible.

Shopping adventures

2009-02-25T17:05:00.000-08:00

I am currently on the hunt for some clothes that will fit my expanding form. In my travels and desire to remain as cheap as possible, I have started scoping out second hand stores for maternity clothes. I normally shop in second hand stores anyway, so it's always an adventure and a crap shoot. Today was a bust. Except that in my search, I found this:

Yes, these are pleather maternity pants. With a full belly panel. Talk about partying like a rock star or something.

I can't imagine what pregnant woman, in her right mind, would don these pants and go out in public wearing them.

Then again, it's been well documented that preggo-brain does in fact exist in some study citing some sort of results about pregnancy depleting like 7% of a woman's brain with each pregnancy. My apologies, I can't begin to search for that study, I'll get distracted by some other shiny object and forget to come back and link the study to the post. It's safe to say since I'm pregnant w/ #4, I'm doomed. At least I haven't been pregnant so many times I think these pants are rockin'. That would indeed be a case of "Pregnant Crazy Lady Wore WHAT?

Giving new meaning to up S*** creek.

2009-02-23T20:41:00.000-08:00

I have seen a truck around my area of town twice now and have yet to get a picture of it, but trust me, I will stalk the highways until I find it just to give you adoring readers the visual satisfaction.

This truck belongs to a company that deals with septic systems and the like. Their logo?

"Dealing with number 2 is our number 1 job."

Or something as equally titillating. I swear I will get pictures.

Even better than their saying?

The truck has been scooting around town with a bright yellow canoe strapped to the top of the utility rack.

One has to wonder how bad it had to get before they started to resort to a canoe.

Now where did I put that paddle?

Mirrors have a purpose

2009-02-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

And it's to prevent this from happening:
(feel free to click on the picture to enlarge it if you can't see what is being shown)

And how apropos that this was taken in a WAL-MART! What's even funnier is that this was the .... wait for it ... "Self Check Out" lane to boot!

Thanks Karen M. for sending me this very chuckleworthy picture.

Mom was right, don't get any tattoos

2009-01-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

Because while you're in the Navy, and busy masking your femininity with manly naval tattoos, you'll eventually decide you're tired of your boy parts and start working toward getting girl parts instead.
Sadly I didn't have a charged battery to speak of to use in my camera, thanks to the kids and their gameboy usage. Equally sad is that my cellphone battery was dead, thanks to the EXTENSIVE amount of phone use. Then dh called me before I could get the picture, thereby completely depleting the battery. So, for a change, Crazy Lady has no photographic evidence of such cross-gendering seen at work today. I'll do my best to describe the scene.

Home improvement store, near the plumbing aisle. Two ladies talking to someone. That someone would be a human of male origin, seemingly in the process of transition to female end result. For the sake of humanity, we'll call the changling "Pat". Pat was wearing a light turquoise dress, carrying a dark brown handbag, and wearing ... I forget what shoes, probably Crocs, since that's what the whole world seems to wear these days. I honestly didn't LOOK at the shoes, I was busy looking at the tattoos on the right arm. An anchor, most notably caught my eye. The others were aged, blurred, and I couldn't make them out really. Old tattoos turned green on a weathered arm...next to a turquoise dress. THAT is what caught my attention first and foremost. My first sight was the arm and fabric. My first thought was wow, that's a ballsy broad for getting such tattoos back then. (This thought is associated with what I know of Post WW2 culture through at least Woodstock, in which women generally were coiffed and having milky skin with nary a blemish. Hell would freeze over before a woman with her senses intact got a tattoo on any part, much less an exposed one. And even during the hellraiser times of women's liberation, sex drugs and rock & roll, women didn't generally get a large ANCHOR permanantly inked on an arm.)
Then I looked up. Woops, ballsy indeed. I then realized I was looking at a person that was probably in their 50s or older, overweight with a large midsection and the associated thick neck, masculine facial features and mammary formations. Pat's voice was losing its gruff edge, but still noticably not femininely soft either. I tried not to eavesdrop, because I have a tendency to channel part of Gladys Kravits sometimes. From reading the body language, and hints of intonation, I think the other two women were simply intrigued by Pat's state of being and Pat was indulging them a public conversation about it. The other two women seemed very kind and non-judgmental toward Pat, and I probably would have entertained a conversation with this person, had I the time to spare.
But in all this, the one moral of the story I come away with (besides that one about making assumptions), is that when you get a tattoo, you reallllllly need to consider any possibilities that could arise later, like say a gender change, before committing to a large rendering on an exposed part of your body.

It's a sad state of our economic times...

2009-01-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

When not only can a man (spotted at the local post office a few days before Christmas) not afford a passable toupee, but also can't afford to wear pants and feels that it is perfectly OK to appear in public in his underarmor. This guy goes to the top of the worst dressed list of all time. The only thing that would have sealed the deal of putting him in the number one spot? If he had been wearing socks with those flip-flops.

The state of the economy has hit hard in all areas of the world, but it hasn't stopped some people from still enjoying their favorite pastimes. Like say...going out on your fishing boat to make sure you can provide a meal for your family. Sadly, when you are so broke you can't afford the tow trailer for the boat, you come up with alternatives to "Git-er-done."

'Nuff said. Stay tuned for your next installment...CLSW is always on the lookout for the idiosyncrasies that make up our crazy world. Don't forget to send in any of your own quirky, funny, strange, or just downright wrong photos so we can pick them apart piece by piece in the snarkiest manner a true smart-ass can accomplish!

*Disclaimer: If a posted photo is of you and/or your property and you wish to have it removed from this blog to avoid future potential ridicule, please contact the blog authors immediately. The blog authors reserve the right to photograph and document any and all acts of WTF in the interest of entertainment and humor at your expense.

Drawers to the Floor

2009-01-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

I think this was the one that started the whole riot. I did crop the bottom to remove the license plate information...because my synapses aren't firing correctly for my brain to digest the photo editing knowledge and put it to use.

I will pause a minute and let you digest the content.

Seriously. It probably is precisely what you think it is.

I'll tell you the back story on this one. I was about to go into the one store I service that has no signal inside whatsoever. However, on the drive there, I was talking to my boss on the phone. So I sat in my mom-bus while we finished our conversation. I saw this couple loading their purchases in the back of their SUV. They futzed with this roll of vinyl sheet flooring, trying to get it in the truck. The liftgate all the way up was not working well, the flooring would have fallen out of the vehicle on the drive home. So lucky for them, this vehicle is equipped with a two part liftgate. They opened the glass and rested the flooring on the back of the seat. Since it hung out the window, they needed some sort of "safety" warning for ~~morons~~ drivers behind them. I saw the woman go to the back driver side door and dig around in what I assume is a bag, laundry basket, or floorboard and come back with something red. The guy stretched it over the end of the flooring, they got in the SUV and left. Thankfully my camera was between the seats so I could move fast and get this shot. The boss didn't believe me, and told me to send it to her. So I did, and she then sent it to everyone in her address book that has a sense of humor.

Welcome to the Crazy Lady

2009-01-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

We decided that since we keep finding crazy stuff while we're out and about, that we'd start a blog to showcase it. Because A) We're weird like that, and B) we travel around with our cameras, since C) Crazy stuff just makes itself known to us on a regular basis.

We welcome your contributions that you find yourself. If you got the picture from someone else, you will need to tell us where you got it, so we attribute accurate credit to the owner of the picture. There are these things called Copyright Laws that we have to mind so we don't have lawyers giving us a ration of crap for infringing on someone's intellectual space.

You can use the profile email link, or send it to crazyladysawwhat(at)gmail(dot)com